FLASHMAG
Whiskey River Soaps make you smell like all of your bad decisions. It’s the next best thing to bathing in a pool of liquor. I’m not sure why anyone would want to go around smelling like whatever they were drinking last night. At least now even if you didn’t actually shower you can blame it on this awesome new soap.
But they don’t just do soaps for drunkies, they have a ton of options to choose from. For example, they have one called Soap to Help Prevent Selfies. I’d use that every day if it would keep people around me from taking dumb selfies.
According to thefunkybubble.com Whiskey River Soaps was founded ” more than fourteen million years ago in the outskirts of Ancient Rome by a ragtag group of freelance gladiators, stray dogs and out-of-work magicians.” They had me at ‘stray dogs.’
Leave your thoughts in the comments section. I’d love to know which one of these soaps is most popular.
1: Whiskey River Soaps for boozers – smells like your breath
2: Soap for stoners – smells like Colorado
3: Soap for the slightly unhinged – smells like unpredictable behavior
4: Soap for karma – Smells like HaHaHA
5: Soap for morning people – smells like a hell no
6: Soap for the middle child – smells like nothing basically
7: Soap for no regrets – smells like a bad tattoo
8: Soap for hoarders – smells like garbage & goo
9: Soap for dead end jobs – smells like a polyester uniform
10: Soap for pity parties – smells like scented with country music
11: Soap for #blessed people – smells like extra specialness
12: Soap for Queens – smells like major drama
13: Soap for it’s only frickin Tuesday – smells like slowly dying
14: Soap for Okay moms – smells like truth
15: Soap for under achievers – smells like mediocrity
16: Soap for frenemies – smells like backhanded compliments
17: Soap for stalkers – smells like the willies
18: Soap for awkward moments – smells like your entire life
19: Soap for introverts – smells like nothing
20: Soap for debbie downers – smells like rampant pessimism
21: Soap for gray areas – smells like ambiguity
22: Soap for white guys – smells like old money & nostalgia
23: Soap for selfies – smells like eye-rolling & general derision
24: Soap for a man’s man – smells like Alaska
25: Soap for geeks – smells like Wifi
26: Soap for emojis – smells like the decline of an entire species
27: Soap for in-law dinners – smells like you’ll never be good enough
28: Soap for yuge mistakes – smells like a come-over
29: Soap for upcycled garbage – smells like an etsy store
30: Soap for smug people – smells like an 8-dollar coffee
31: Soap for weird teachers – smells like odd mannerisms and orange corduroy
32: Soap for wedded bliss – smells like two, three years tops
33: Soap for online dating – smells like a 10-year-old picture
34: Soap for OCD – smells like obsessive behavior
35: Soap for office gossip – smells like a scandal
36: Soap for creepy uncles – smells like fresh moustache scent
37: Soap for formally employed – smells like day time & tv and beer
38: Whiskey River Soaps for the neighbors – smells like a wide berth
If you love these whiskey river soaps please share with your friends !
