Miley Cyrus Bleaches Her Own Hair, Learns Several Valuable Lessons

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Miley Cyrus learned a valuable lesson Wednesday when she bleached her own hair with box dye, a procedure recommended by exactly zero hair professionals. One of the lessons was, naturally, “don’t bleach your own hair at home,” but it seems she had some additional existential experiences in the process.

Some important highlights from her ensuing revelation, which she posted to Instagram in full:

• “Sitting in a random apartment with nothing to do but smoke weed (which I should’ve just appreciated) and fuck with my hair obi, something inside told me I’d regret it.”
• “That hair color comes in a box (well maybe mine) therefore it’s available to purchase and what grows from my scalp naturally is mine and only mine!!!”
• “I felt like a self obsessed psycho while real issues are out there in the world needing to be dealt with and what it looks like actually fucking matters!”
• “Either this shit needs to grow out at super speed or I’m about to go in for a fuckin hair cut realllllll quick!!! #imisstheoldme”
• “I guess even writing this hunk of bull shit means I am thinking about my hair which is equally as lame and self obsessed.”
• “This fucking mop will make no difference to that fact Donald Trump is running for president (successfully) and climate change is extremely real and scary.”
• “The true you can never be replicated or replaced you are the one and only you!”

And, post script: “If you ever start overthinking shit especially something as silly as hair…. go outside, smell a flower, center your thoughts and find something productive to do with your time…. I wish I would’ve taken a toke of my own medicine…. Everything is a learning experience…. Even hair LOL”

True.